Istikhara is very easy. You can easily do it yourself!
In life, one has to take many decisions, and these decisions definitely affect his life. Small decisions come up with trivial consequences. However, some decisions cause long-term effects on one’s life.
Marriage, or choosing a life-partner is one of the most important decisions of a person’s life. It’s the future decider. This is not a minor decision, but it is the selection of your life-partner. It is rather the selection of your upcoming life. So, one must be highly careful in this matter.
Though a person uses his overall capabilities while making such decision; however, being a Muslim, we believe that a human’s vision and insight is not sufficient to foresee the future. So, we should consult Allah (SWT) and perform Istikhara before taking crucial decisions. Though, Istikhara is not limited to the marriage and we should seek Allah’s Guidance through Istikhara for every important aspect of life; however, the decision of choosing your life partner is such an important matter that must go through Istikhara before finalizing anything.
Thus, we should consult Allah while taking important decisions with the method of the prophet Muhammad (PBUH) by doing Istikhara.
Who Should do the Istikhara
You, who is getting married, or someone else.
If it's you, who is getting married, or if it's someone else like your brother or sister or your son or daughter, you should do Istikhara before finalizing the decision for yourself or for your other relatives. It is better that the person who is getting married, do the Istikhara himself or herself. However, if someone other than the bride and groom who has the authority to finalize the decision, can also perform the Istikhara. Whether he is the father or the mother of bride / groom or any other guardian. To get Istikhara done with irrelevant people is inappropriate.
How to do Istikhara
Narrated by Jabir bin 'Abdullah:
The Prophet (p.b.u.h) used to teach us the way of doing Istikhara (Istikhara means to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning any job or a deed), in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Quran. He said, "If anyone of you thinks of doing any job, he should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer): -- 'Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa as'alaka min fadlika al-'azlm Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta'lamu Wala a'lamu, Wa anta 'allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta'lam anna hadha-l-amra Khairun li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or 'ajili amri wa'ajilihi) Faqdirhu wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha-lamra shar-run li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri (or fi'ajili amri wa ajilihi) Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.'
(O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, And Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not, and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter--(or said: If it is better for my present and later needs)--Then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, And then bless me in it, and if You know that this job is harmful to me In my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter--(or said: If it is worse for my present and later needs)--Then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, and make me satisfied with it). The Prophet added that then the person should name (mention) his need.
Volume 2, Book 21, Number 263:
Explanation
Doing Istikhara creates blessing (barakah) in one’s life. It is not necessary to see a dream after doing Istikhara or you get a direction from some other source. Likewise, it is also not necessary that a direction / decision naturally take place in the heart. No such benefits are described in the Hadith. The historical incidences also testify that no such occurrences develop after Istikhara in most of the cases and the goal of Istikhara is to ask for divine blessings. Hence, the meaning of Istikhara is to leave the matter on the knowledge and power of God and promise to fully trust on God.
Actually, through the process of Istikhara, a person fully trusts on the lord. He also asks for the persistence to get agreed on the will and choice of the lord, even, the resultant decision befalls against his own will and wishes. If someone does this with full sincerity, Allah will surely endow him with his ultimate blessings. This is the benefit of Istikhara, what else can we desire other than this.
Translation of the Urdu Explanation from Maktaba Shamila
In short, when we do the Istikhara as per the sunnah of Prophet (PBUH), the blessing of Allah includes in the matter, and this is what we want. So, we should do Istikhara before finalizing the decision against marriage proposal and then get agreed on the will of Allah.
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